I found your series through Tamy’s recommendation and read through all 10 parts. Thank you for putting in the extensive work. As you intended, I find it very helpful to see the problem in its larger cultural and generational contexts. In the end, being a parent always has meant opening up oneself to the possible excruciating pain of losing a child, whether through disease or war or separation as in all previous generations. Why should we parents expect to be exempt from this pain? This is the epidemic of our times.
Hi, Many thanks for taking the time to read through and provide this comment. Yes, I totally agree that parenthood is and always has been a risk and more than that an expression of confidence in the future. Like all such risks, it involves opening oneself up and becoming vulnerable to the future not panning out in the fairytale image we conceive going into it. My concern comes when what we perceive as an epidemic of "just happened that way" turns out to be more ideologically and agenda based (ergo, my focus on Estrangement Ideology as a thing), which is how I am increasingly seeing it. More to come on that subject in a future article.
As I read the comments you cite from Reddit, I can’t help but wonder if the adult kids really have experienced “trauma”, “immature behavior” and the like from parents. I can’t help but think that what they consider supportive is by going along with whatever they want with enthusiasm.
There is no way to establish the "truth" of the claims and accounts made in the Estranged Adult Child forums. All we have is what social scientists call a collection of "texts", which is how I approach them. The claims, accusations and cheerleading do work to position the writer and reader. In this way the forums are seen to be a sort of echo chamber that creates the right to be participate as well as establish a position within the group. This is a cold clinical way of looking at matters, but, as I say, there is no way to move beyond the one-sided nature of what is going on - the other side of every account is specifically excluded.
I found your series through Tamy’s recommendation and read through all 10 parts. Thank you for putting in the extensive work. As you intended, I find it very helpful to see the problem in its larger cultural and generational contexts. In the end, being a parent always has meant opening up oneself to the possible excruciating pain of losing a child, whether through disease or war or separation as in all previous generations. Why should we parents expect to be exempt from this pain? This is the epidemic of our times.
Hi, Many thanks for taking the time to read through and provide this comment. Yes, I totally agree that parenthood is and always has been a risk and more than that an expression of confidence in the future. Like all such risks, it involves opening oneself up and becoming vulnerable to the future not panning out in the fairytale image we conceive going into it. My concern comes when what we perceive as an epidemic of "just happened that way" turns out to be more ideologically and agenda based (ergo, my focus on Estrangement Ideology as a thing), which is how I am increasingly seeing it. More to come on that subject in a future article.
As I read the comments you cite from Reddit, I can’t help but wonder if the adult kids really have experienced “trauma”, “immature behavior” and the like from parents. I can’t help but think that what they consider supportive is by going along with whatever they want with enthusiasm.
There is no way to establish the "truth" of the claims and accounts made in the Estranged Adult Child forums. All we have is what social scientists call a collection of "texts", which is how I approach them. The claims, accusations and cheerleading do work to position the writer and reader. In this way the forums are seen to be a sort of echo chamber that creates the right to be participate as well as establish a position within the group. This is a cold clinical way of looking at matters, but, as I say, there is no way to move beyond the one-sided nature of what is going on - the other side of every account is specifically excluded.