This post particularly helpful for precision. The factors you cite are skills in an emotion maturation. Every licensed therapist working in this issue ought to be able to articulate and engage their young adult clients in these factors. That’s the authentic remedy to estrangement (aka escaping adulthood).
The tragedies and agonies of estrangement are serious for both parents and their loved ones.
Warm thanks for your insightful efforts to educate. Bravo!
As a child I was physically abused by our father, I cannot imagine a need to "protect" myself once I become a free adult. I found it easy to understand and forgive my father, I even sat down with him and my mother at 24 and explained how his rageful fits harmed me, he listened. He did not apologize, nor did I need him to or expect such. Years later my mother sent me a beautiful letter apologizing for her lack of virtue in failing to protect me. Again, I did not need an apology to appreciate all the wonderful and important things both of them provided me. To my mind, the people who might need to distance themselves are those who were sexually abused or have a very challenging mentally ill parent.
For me, your story reflects the contradiction in the "Estranged Adult Child" identity. One of my other articles discusses the Emotional Immaturity paradox, where parents are often accused of being emotionally immature, while their children are claiming some morally superior position of maturity they are evidently failing to exhibit.
Agreed. Frankly, my son was raised with and incorporated similar resiliency factors at a young age when he was being bullied at school. He has regressed since aligning with wife's identity expectations and this ideology, imo.
I got a call in our first year of estrangement on the 1st birthday of my grandson. We were excluded from the web-based party during the pandemic. We had only been allowed to meet or hold him twice during timed visits since his birth. My son called from a location other than home, so I am pretty certain his wife doesn't know he contacted us. He told me he knew that communication was key to resolving misunderstandings and conflict.
I responded 'hallelujah'. He then shared some details about his son, it was encouraging. But he never called again.
In addition to all the complicated mental adjustments being cut off requires, accepting that my son is codependent distresses me. Oh well... his life.
Thank you for your insights. I wonder if today's educational theories on how to deal with conflict has something to do with this phenomenon? Kids today do not know how to resolve differences. They avoid conflict.
This post particularly helpful for precision. The factors you cite are skills in an emotion maturation. Every licensed therapist working in this issue ought to be able to articulate and engage their young adult clients in these factors. That’s the authentic remedy to estrangement (aka escaping adulthood).
The tragedies and agonies of estrangement are serious for both parents and their loved ones.
Warm thanks for your insightful efforts to educate. Bravo!
As a child I was physically abused by our father, I cannot imagine a need to "protect" myself once I become a free adult. I found it easy to understand and forgive my father, I even sat down with him and my mother at 24 and explained how his rageful fits harmed me, he listened. He did not apologize, nor did I need him to or expect such. Years later my mother sent me a beautiful letter apologizing for her lack of virtue in failing to protect me. Again, I did not need an apology to appreciate all the wonderful and important things both of them provided me. To my mind, the people who might need to distance themselves are those who were sexually abused or have a very challenging mentally ill parent.
For me, your story reflects the contradiction in the "Estranged Adult Child" identity. One of my other articles discusses the Emotional Immaturity paradox, where parents are often accused of being emotionally immature, while their children are claiming some morally superior position of maturity they are evidently failing to exhibit.
Agreed. Frankly, my son was raised with and incorporated similar resiliency factors at a young age when he was being bullied at school. He has regressed since aligning with wife's identity expectations and this ideology, imo.
I got a call in our first year of estrangement on the 1st birthday of my grandson. We were excluded from the web-based party during the pandemic. We had only been allowed to meet or hold him twice during timed visits since his birth. My son called from a location other than home, so I am pretty certain his wife doesn't know he contacted us. He told me he knew that communication was key to resolving misunderstandings and conflict.
I responded 'hallelujah'. He then shared some details about his son, it was encouraging. But he never called again.
In addition to all the complicated mental adjustments being cut off requires, accepting that my son is codependent distresses me. Oh well... his life.
💔
Very clear and balanced.
Thank you for your insights. I wonder if today's educational theories on how to deal with conflict has something to do with this phenomenon? Kids today do not know how to resolve differences. They avoid conflict.