Thanks for raising this aspect Steve as siblings and their whole place in the family as a unit is challenged and jeopardized when one sibling chooses NC. Aside from the dynamics between the siblings themselves, the parent relationship with the non estranged siblings is also under threat. Trying to be neutral (and curious at the same time) about the estranged AC while not jeopardizing the non estranged relationship(s) is a tight rope walk that no one wants to make.
I appreciate your thoughtful discussion of this topic
There is so much collateral damage that is unrealized or ignored even when forewarned and little to no empathy shown for those who are part of the collateral damage. It’s all so very sad.
How the rest of the family lines up, namely siblings, can be a very good indicator of where the dysfunction lies. If the siblings align with the parent and think the estranged child is being unreasonable or cruel, and do not want to join him in his ideology, that’s very telling. If a parent is truly a problem, then typically all of the siblings would feel it. Whereas if only one child is claiming they can’t have a relationship with the parent and is also alienating siblings and anyone who defends the parent, I would be immediately suspicious of his mental state.
Eleven years ago, my son decided to cut off his mother and I, in order to comply with the ultimatum from his fragile wife. Gradually this led to increased distance between them and his sister, his aunts and uncles, cousins, and inlaws, and not because those other people became involved or took sides, but simply because of the awkwardness and ugliness of the situation. He has lost his entire family. His children have grown up not knowing half of their family. It's worth knowing that this family-splitting is exactly how his wife grew up. She once told me that she never knew anyone in her father's family and she never missed them.
Thanks for raising this aspect Steve as siblings and their whole place in the family as a unit is challenged and jeopardized when one sibling chooses NC. Aside from the dynamics between the siblings themselves, the parent relationship with the non estranged siblings is also under threat. Trying to be neutral (and curious at the same time) about the estranged AC while not jeopardizing the non estranged relationship(s) is a tight rope walk that no one wants to make.
I appreciate your thoughtful discussion of this topic
There is so much collateral damage that is unrealized or ignored even when forewarned and little to no empathy shown for those who are part of the collateral damage. It’s all so very sad.
How the rest of the family lines up, namely siblings, can be a very good indicator of where the dysfunction lies. If the siblings align with the parent and think the estranged child is being unreasonable or cruel, and do not want to join him in his ideology, that’s very telling. If a parent is truly a problem, then typically all of the siblings would feel it. Whereas if only one child is claiming they can’t have a relationship with the parent and is also alienating siblings and anyone who defends the parent, I would be immediately suspicious of his mental state.
Eleven years ago, my son decided to cut off his mother and I, in order to comply with the ultimatum from his fragile wife. Gradually this led to increased distance between them and his sister, his aunts and uncles, cousins, and inlaws, and not because those other people became involved or took sides, but simply because of the awkwardness and ugliness of the situation. He has lost his entire family. His children have grown up not knowing half of their family. It's worth knowing that this family-splitting is exactly how his wife grew up. She once told me that she never knew anyone in her father's family and she never missed them.