On Instagram, a young woman complained that her father-in-law doesn't take his shoes off when he comes to her house, although she has asked him to. One or two commenters suggested that there is some pain or issue with his feet, but the vast majority declared righteously that he was disrespectful of her, engaging in a power struggle with her and she should force him to comply with her wishes. One said, "Take the grandchildren away from him and see how fast he gets those shoes off."
Many estranged parents say that all relationships seemed stable until the grandchildren came along, and then that important relationship was used as leverage.
My sentiments exactly I will never leave this out of my sight because it a perfect wrap up of exactly what it is and everything that I have said, thought, felt and suffered through and I am in my 5th year 😏😔
I’ve seen kids online say that parents only want to reconcile so they will take care of them when older. Puts a very cynical transactional spin on what family is.
I completely agree with your conclusion that a "balanced perspective is required..."and mutual accountability, respect and empathy. I have struggled with the advice that parents are not allowed to express any of their pain, or issues, surrounding the estrangement that the road to reconciliation must be one-sided with EC dictating the "rules." It seems unauthentic to me in the worst way as a parent to not have reciprocity in any healthy relationship.
On Instagram, a young woman complained that her father-in-law doesn't take his shoes off when he comes to her house, although she has asked him to. One or two commenters suggested that there is some pain or issue with his feet, but the vast majority declared righteously that he was disrespectful of her, engaging in a power struggle with her and she should force him to comply with her wishes. One said, "Take the grandchildren away from him and see how fast he gets those shoes off."
Many estranged parents say that all relationships seemed stable until the grandchildren came along, and then that important relationship was used as leverage.
Sad to see people advocating for children to be used in some sort of power game.
This chapter was the answer to a riddle I have been trying figure out for 7 years.
Thank you.
My sentiments exactly I will never leave this out of my sight because it a perfect wrap up of exactly what it is and everything that I have said, thought, felt and suffered through and I am in my 5th year 😏😔
I’ve seen kids online say that parents only want to reconcile so they will take care of them when older. Puts a very cynical transactional spin on what family is.
Yes, transactional is definitely a theme that runs through it all.
I completely agree with your conclusion that a "balanced perspective is required..."and mutual accountability, respect and empathy. I have struggled with the advice that parents are not allowed to express any of their pain, or issues, surrounding the estrangement that the road to reconciliation must be one-sided with EC dictating the "rules." It seems unauthentic to me in the worst way as a parent to not have reciprocity in any healthy relationship.
Exactly Tamara 😔
This is my story these are my thoughts these are my fears these are the facts this is the absolute tragedy and injustice of it all.
I wholeheartedly agree with everything you have written.
I will always be grateful to you for this wonderful work to be able to articulate my living hell over 5 years so perfectly.
Thankyou so very much 🙌🏻