Discussion about this post

User's avatar
Christine B's avatar

I wouldn't necessarily say that I'm enjoying working through your Estrangement Ideology, but I find it immensely informative. As an estranged parent also, I find myself nodding in agreement with so much of what you write. The perception that as parents our behavior stays static and allows no room for growth is particularly galling to me. I've read many of the posts and comments on reddit, Instagram, etc... and I've also read posts and comments on forums for parents of estranged adult children. While there are some parents that spew anger toward their children's actions or wrap themselves up in their identity as estranged parents, the majority spend a great deal of time on self-reflection and have a desire to fix themselves and their behavior in order to bring about reconciliation. Thank you for your insightful posts.

Expand full comment
Henry Capobianco's avatar

I am glad to see you comment on young people's resentment of Boomers' assets, which is being fueled shamelessly in popular media. Last week a major news station reported that minimum wage workers cannot afford an apartment, all to themselves, in the city where they work. Of course not! This is nothing new, but the comments in response made it clear that young people today have no idea that the Boomer standard was 2-4 roommates in one apartment. When I replied to that effect, the reply was, "But a 3-bedroom apartment costs so much." The assumption was that each roommates would have their own bedroom!!

The other resentment often heard is that they can't afford to buy a home, but any real estate agent will tell you that the "fixer-upper" or starter home is a thing of the past. Where their Boomer parents bought a rundown cottage on the outskirts of civilization, today's young couple wants a pristine, turn-key, 4-bedroom home with a lawn in a good school district. They aren't going to spend their weekends installing drywall or hauling top soil like their parents did, they won't share a car or buy used furniture either.

They want right now what their parents had after 40 years of scrounging, skrimping and making do. They are delusional but their resentment is real.

Expand full comment
6 more comments...

No posts